Ghost of Your Hands

I can feel the ghost of your hands haunting my skin and it makes me tremble, more than ever, with desire for the warmth of your sweet, soft embrace. Faint whispers of gentle passion scream loudly in this vacant silence, my fingers caressing blindness, tracing outlines that aren’t there. My beating, pleading heart aches with every unshared breath, each untouched kiss and I cry out for you. Your delicate presence completes me and saves me from destruction. Why can’t you be here this very moment to help save me from this darkness? I’m drowning in a sea of sorrow in this lonely abandon and I regret the consequence. Escape is my prison and because of this I am not proud. I wish upon stars that have fallen behind the horizon that I may overcome such a fictional ecstasy. Choice is my dilemma, I am my own weakness, but you are the light that can guide me towards the harbor despite the savage storm. But I am alone now in this enigma that overburdens me because of the distance placed between us. The sandy shore seems unobtainable from where I’m sailing but a mustard seed of faith have I, that the wind will carry me into your arms eventually. Time has a way of teaching patience to those who truly love and you, my love, are definitely worth waiting for. But how much longer will you wait for me?

Fighting with Weakness

Most days I find myself fighting with the vacancy that she leaves and my weakness prevails and overpowers me to a shameful breaking point. Some days I would like to think that I would not miss someone so dearly and I passionately dream for the future to be close. Suffering a burden so unbearable it leaves my heart aching for peace. I know not how to counterattack the shadows that creep in when my faith has been faltering. I keep finding myself pushing away from hope and happiness because the stars keep disappearing beyond a distant horizon. What chance do I have in this world of uncertainty?

She is all I have and all I need but it seems so far from reach that I keep slipping away. Her softness, the gentle touch, is missed dearly. The luster in her eyes burns deeply in my mind and I keep wandering around in memory to remain in a state of sanity. What threads are left holding me together without her embrace? What will keep me grounded when the pain keeps growing beyond control? Will I take refuge and walk the dusty streets so that I might find my soul or will I face the harsh reality and suffer through the next few months? Faith and hope abandon me in time of desperation and bury me deep in depression. I want to overcome the difficulties and someday will but only if she can be in my arms forever.

Missing You

          It’s one of those mornings where missing you really hurts more than other mornings. I want you in my arms. Am I asking for too much? You make the weight of the world go away when we embrace each other. I’m missing you more than ever and the vacancy feels like a dagger in my heart. Please make haste, these days of the future that we anticipate. I can’t keep breathing much longer when you’re not here. I’d be grateful for just one moment more with you near.

Waiting for the Thaw

          Cold and wet, the sting of winter chill. Wanting, waiting for the thaw; shivering; bruising the anticipation of tomorrow. Something stirs deep within while viewing the photographs. A restless awakening of desire that consumes like fire races through every fiber of vein and embraces every fabric of thought. Overcome by the powerful imagery the soul screams for a liberty long-awaited. Spring is near and the call of the wild is rebirthing with unyielding fervor. Containment is not an option nor is it healthy for one’s sanity. Fiction can only be held onto for so long before cries of desperation become pages ripped out of one’s heart. But freedom only comes to those with faith, hope, courage, and patience.

Escaping the Shadows: A Tapestry of Reflection

          In reaching the door, long awaited, I find disappointment and more despair upon entering. I cannot go on like this. Faith has disappeared through an open window, shattering treasured hopes and dreams once considered priceless. Peace will not find me as I have not yet found myself. God is not there to comfort me from my vulnerabilities and attempted healing. Desperately I want to move forward but I keep finding myself at the beginning of a long narrow hallway time and time again. Abandoned and alone I survive, I exist, but that is all. How can I go on like this?

          Destination is a figment of imagination without a lantern. The trembling stars defy me once again and the wind has blown out the candle. What direction must I follow now that hopelessness has embraced my sails? The currents no longer carry my aspirations as they now drown beneath the surface deep within the depths. There is no sky and if there is a horizon it is far too distant to reach. Will I ever overcome or will I go on like this?

          Standing in the shade these many years makes it uneasy to escape the shadows. Even though the desert sun is bright and burns with relentlessness it still could not find the depths of my soul. The fear of such a vast vacancy was and still is my companion. Trying to find peace in the solace of sandstone canyons, the silence is beckoning me. Will I ever find that which I have been searching for? How can I go on like this?