Wind of Change

Finally, we are tapping into some renewable energy sources in the great state of Utah. Here is a new wind farm that is being constructed at the mouth of Spanish Fork Canyon. I don’t know why they waited this long to capture the wind that comes through this canyon but I am glad that it will be soon.

© 2008 Cordell J. Larkin

A Peaceful Moment

A peaceful moment without even a whisper and a delicate embrace is all that is required. With each fading sunset a desire for dawn awaits and soon the twilight will summon the keeper of lanterns. Wishes will be sent heaven bound waiting to be captured by the dream catchers. The stillness of silence surrounds with an unmatched beauty as eyes grow weary but there is freshness about the air of wilderness that awakens the senses. Suffering is excluded from this realm as heart and mind become liberated and slumber will soon take over. Embers smolder with warm companionship and that’s all that matters each and every night.

© 2008 Cordell J. Larkin

Words: A Path to Recovery

And so it begins just as everything has an end. Deep within the catacombs of mind, vague reflections become wrinkled with time and words have a slight comfort and add balance to an unstable passage. Picturesque but not always sweet words capture moments that are envisioned and not always truth. Lay your eyes upon the pages as they are and without digging very far into the layers as you may find that fiction may abound. Enigmatic sentences are sometimes undecipherable by even the author who pens them as their emotions run wild and sometimes bleed profusely. Opening up a wounded heart is not easy but neither is a path to recovery.

© 2008 Cordell J. Larkin

Zero

Nocturnal vampires feeding on the vulnerable, we sacrifice ourselves to our rage and our hate. Despite all my weaknesses I still aspire to reach out to you but now I’m desperate in despair. I’m disconnected and afraid of the consequence that will soon befall me. Reach me soon before I slide into the abyss of eternal darkness. Once again I am empty, I am Zero. And so it begins.

Drifting

My senses tell me I’m drifting farther from the shore, away from you. I know it’s hard to bear the anchor in these turbulent waters for the both of us and I cannot fathom the burden that I have become. You are rock and I am sand and I am sorry if I am slowly slipping through your fingers. I am lost, I am bound and the wind is beginning to grow restless in these tired sails. Planted, I am not, for my soul desires independence especially from weakness. My lungs require the freshness of open sky and my heart, peaceful tranquility. I yearn to be in your arms, just you and me, but not in this harsh reality. I need to find myself and I wish it be soon as I grow weary throwing words into a vacant room. The wilderness is requesting my presence and soon it may find me.

Catching Up With Cataclysm

Although I love to hold you in my arms it may be a while before I look deep into those cerulean eyes and promise you forever. It’s a glimpse of heaven but please forgive me as I have fallen. Oh what a wretched abyss I find myself in, an empire of sorrow I wish upon no one. The knowledge of knowing life is short and the journey hard weighs heavily upon every thought and each breath becomes more precious than the previous. One step closer yet one step behind and with every footstep finding beauty in silence, I want to abandon the past. With fingers tracing, caressing skin, windows open and let light in unlocking a door in which a moment of escape is possible. But I am afraid that I cannot qualify myself worthy or a better man than most because of the persistent cancerous suffering that plagues me. I am so very sorry and I still love you wholeheartedly but still I am inadequate. I know that you will not let me go and I know that I cannot let you go and that is why we are stuck together through thick and thin, rain or shine. Please be patient with me through this catastrophe.

When Things Go Wrong

Patiently awaiting gentle release, I miss the peaceful valley. Desperately I want to return to clarity and virtue and as the days pass the weight grows more burdensome. Words on paper have become my comfort, my escape, and yet my heart is again heavy as soon as I turn away. I want to bleed if only to numb the sting momentarily. Somehow balance has abandoned me to the belief that hope is forever lost or at least beyond reach. My language is incoherent repetitious riddles that plague every thought and conversation and so the world around me grows weary. The support around me falters and I find myself unfathomable, a quagmire of unquenchable thirst. Where are my wings when I need them?

Forever is the present moment and I cannot break free from these insanities. Communication between heart, mind, and spirit are no longer congruent and I am frustrated with previous choices. Inadequacies add to the complexities of finding enlightenment. The greatest antagonist seems to be myself and the battles remain endless and overwhelming. Overcoming the trepidation of the possible future seems impossible with current circumstances. I remain tolerant and stationary and I want more but the aspirations grow futile as if they were only pleasant fictions. My hands can only reach so far and remain intangible. The enigmatic realm I find myself in is suffocating and barren and all I ask for is freedom so that I may settle down in that peaceful valley once again.

© 2008 Cordell J. Larkin

Beginning and End

Hunter of the future, haunted by the past, and with every moment of melancholy the nucleus divides itself with intense reaction. A final blueprint is near completion but the architect is without reason. The atlas of salvation is forever engraved and has been overlooked and somehow misplaced but not without regret. A misjudgment, a small mistake, and all the walls came down around with all the consequence. The foundation weakened by the stress placed upon it and so it slowly crumbled leaving only dust. Beginning and end, the struggle for strength seems like an unobtainable desire as dark gravity weighs heavily upon unsteady support. As cement turns to clay and clay to an empire of dirt, beginning and end.

Late Night Nonsense?

The walls are closing in fast in a room without a view. Will I ever get to where I’m going? Liberty is enticing but the chain is heavy to bear. I’m trying to not let the world beat me down as I am backed into this corner but I am ready to detonate from the depth of this melancholy. I fear that the wanderlust has nearly taken over me and that soon I will connect with a piece of uncertainty that scares me. Soon I may be on a journey of self discovery that may consume and eventually end in an expired existence depending on the endurance. I am a dove with the heart of a dragon and I plan on breaking out of this cage. I have had enough of this world and this life. Come what may and I am sorry if you have to leave me behind this time. It’s killing me more than it will ever kill you because the ground beneath my feet is leaving at a pace that I can no longer keep up with. I am sorry that I have traveled this far only to be a disappointment. My entanglement will soon suffocate and break me.

Turbulence Set In Motion

Why are things set in motion when you least expect them? A chain reaction that may be more catastrophic than imaginable has somehow reached a near combustible state and your fear dangles by the faintest thread possible. You keep retracing your thoughts and to no avail do you reach a small sampling of peace. Maybe the time has come for a change and to take the greatest leap of faith you have ever thought possible. Maybe you have outgrown the years that have shaped every memory, every moment, and now it’s time to leap into the void that may be waiting. Not a vacant void but one that illuminates and stimulates the dormant senses. It’s time to hang the hat on the rack as you exit into a breath of fresh air.

As you close the door to open another you may find yourself caught in the middle glancing back through a crack that no longer means much. With all of the persuasion to stay behind you find yourself pulling away even harder until everything snaps. With a small glimpse of what may be before you, you stretch forth with all that you can muster hoping for those arms to embrace you and pull you through. You are at your most vulnerable and weakest point possible and still you tread forward against the trying turbulence and you have no plausible idea how. You just keep hoping to one day wake up from this treachery and realize it was all some sort of horrific dream.